top of page
  • Darrell Stetler II

Do This When You Have to Confront Your Leader

I recently made a leadership decision that was fraught with some amount of peril.

Most good leadership decisions are. If you’re not risking, you’re probably not leading as aggressively as you should.

If you’re not risking, you’re probably not leading as aggressively as you should.
  1. Tweet Quote

I was contacted by someone who expressed genuine concern about the decision I had made. I was so impressed by them and their attitude, I decided to share it with you.

Here’s what they did right:

1. They contacted me privately.

They did not confront me publicly, setting up a situation where I felt I had to prove my point or lose face.  They did not rant on Facebook.

2. They communicated their appreciation for my leadership.

Honest appreciation is the oil that greases the gears of life and relationships, my friends. Use more of it.

Honest appreciation is the oil that greases the gears of life and relationships, my friends. Use more of it!
  1. Tweet Quote

3. They assumed they might not have all the information I had.

Usually, people assume that the leader doesn’t have all the information they have… and the decision was a bad one.  (And that could be the case!)  But it is safer and far more gracious to assume that the leader has information they don’t have.

This one little tweak raises you near a Level Ninja Conflict Manager.

If you don’t have this perspective, you won’t be able to listen… you’ll come in fighting to be heard, not to listen.

4. They communicated their concern about the situation.

I never mind when someone communicates their concern. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia, “If there is a wasp in the room, I should like to know where it is.” I’d rather know ahead of time if someone has concerns.

If you’re a leader who can’t handle that, then find something else to do – don’t pastor a church. But they sure made it easier to handle!

5. They recognized my authority in the situation.

I’m not really that guy that needs the props, or just needs someone to notice I’m in charge. But admit it: when your kids are respectful of your authority in your family, it takes the temperature down in the discussion. Same way here.

6. They affirmed their willingness to trust & follow my leadership, even if I didn’t agree with them.

This was huge. I almost felt like crying. As a leader in several organizations, I was overwhelmed that day, and carrying another person’s frustrations was not what I needed.

Hear this, you who are fearful of your leaders making bad decisions:
  1. Tweet Quote

In a leader with a good heart, trusting them even when you disagree doesn’t make them more likely to be an idiot – it makes them more SERIOUS about their leadership!

What happened INSIDE me at that moment was fascinating.

  1. I was MORE willing to hear their perspective.

  2. I was MORE challenged to lead carefully.

  3. I was MORE energized to lead well.

  4. I was MORE thankful to have them around.

  5. I was MORE likely to seek out their counsel next time.

  6. I was MORE impressed with their readiness to lead on a higher level.

I think this list what happens in all leaders who have a sincere and good heart for the people they lead and love.

Go, bless your leaders by doing this for them when you disagree with them!
  1. Tweet Quote

What happens inside YOU when someone does this?  Let me know below, or if you’re on social media, join in the conversation on my Twitter or Facebook!

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Introduction Prayer Video: A prayer for overcoming fear & anxiety Prayer for Illumination Almighty and eternal God, direct our actions with what pleases you, that in the name of your beloved Son we ma

Introductory Video: Prayer for Illumination Almighty God, I come to you today seeking your guidance and wisdom. I ask that you would open my heart and mind to the truths of your Word. Give me the cour

bottom of page