42 Sermon Illustrations on Marriage
- Darrell Stetler II
- Aug 8
- 32 min read
If you’ve ever sat down to prep a sermon on marriage and felt the frustration of knowing your point is solid… but not having the right story to make it land, you’re not alone. After preaching for more than 20 years, I’ve learned that illustrations on marriage are both some of the most powerful tools a pastor can use—and some of the hardest to find.
Sure, you can dig up clichés or well-worn anecdotes, but finding fresh, vivid, and emotionally resonant stories that connect with real-life marriages? That’s the challenge. Over the years, I’ve built entire files of illustrations—drawn from history, literature, sports, the early church, and real-life modern examples—that not only keep a congregation engaged, but help biblical truth take root in the heart.
That’s actually why I created a course that teaches even non-techie pastors how to find, create, and store illustrations like these—plus how to use AI tools to generate custom ones in seconds. Because when you have the right story at the right moment, it’s not just a sermon point—it’s a seed that can bear fruit in a marriage for years to come.
If you want a free AI research assistant to help you locate illustrations on ANY topic, check out this course:
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage from Historical Stories
Ronald and Nancy Reagan's Letters
In an age of instant messages and emojis, it’s hard to imagine taking the time to sit down, choose your words carefully, and handwrite a letter to your spouse. But that’s exactly what Ronald Reagan did for his wife, Nancy—throughout their entire marriage. Even as President of the United States, with the weight of the Cold War, national crises, and world leaders on his schedule, he still carved out time to write her love letters.
These weren’t political memos. They weren’t quick “thinking of you” notes. They were tender, intentional, and personal—filled with affection, humor, and gratitude. One letter simply told her, “I’m not whole without you.” Another ended with, “I still can’t get over that you love me.” Even decades into marriage, he was still actively pursuing her heart.
Think about that—if the most powerful man in the world could make time to nurture his marriage, what excuse do the rest of us really have? He never let his position, stress, or public life replace the private, daily pursuit of his wife’s heart.
Marriage doesn’t thrive by accident—it thrives because we keep writing the “letters,” whatever that looks like for us: date nights, compliments, small acts of service, whispered prayers together. The spark is kept alive when we choose to keep fanning the flame.
(Source: Reagan Library)

John and Abigail Adams'
John and Abigail Adams lived in a time when communication moved at the speed of a horse and a sailing ship. As America’s early leaders, John’s political duties often took him far from home for months or even years at a time. The separation could have cooled their connection, but instead, they built one of the most famous correspondences in history—over 1,000 letters between them.
In those letters, they didn’t just talk about politics or the revolution. They shared details of daily life, their children, their hopes, their struggles, and their love for each other. Even across an ocean, they kept pursuing one another’s hearts, minds, and spirits.
What’s remarkable is that they didn’t treat their marriage as something that could be put on hold until circumstances improved. They understood that intimacy isn’t only physical—it’s also emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. And so, they invested in it, word by word, letter by letter.
Their story reminds us that distance—whether miles apart or just busy in the same house—doesn’t have to erode closeness. The key is intentional connection. Whether it’s a handwritten note left on the counter, a quick text in the middle of the day, or a lingering conversation before bed, the heart stays warm when we make the choice to reach out.
(Source: Massachusetts Historical Society)
Illustrations on Marriage from Science
Neuroplasticity and Relationships
Modern brain science has discovered something powerful: our brains are constantly rewiring themselves in response to what we experience. This is called neuroplasticity. When couples intentionally try new things together—whether it’s traveling somewhere new, learning a hobby, taking a cooking class, or even trying a different walking route—it stimulates the brain to release chemicals like dopamine, which are linked to excitement, pleasure, and bonding.
In other words, doing new things together can literally help you fall in love all over again. The same brain chemistry that was active when you were dating can be rekindled years later simply by sharing fresh experiences.
The opposite is also true. If a couple’s interactions become entirely predictable, with no novelty or shared adventure, the brain stops associating that relationship with the same level of joy and excitement it once did. The warmth can fade—not because the love is gone, but because it’s no longer being fueled.
God wired our brains for relationship, joy, and discovery. That means that “dating for life” isn’t just romantic advice—it’s scientific. Trying something new with your spouse is like adding another log to the fire. It keeps the chemistry—and the connection—alive.
(Source:
The Michelangelo Effect and Relationships
The Michelangelo Effect is a term psychologists use to describe how two people in a healthy relationship help each other become the best version of themselves. The name comes from the great artist Michelangelo, who said that when he sculpted, he didn’t create something new—he simply chipped away the excess marble to reveal the figure that was already inside.
In marriage, intentional pursuit works the same way. When you actively encourage, support, and believe in your spouse, you’re helping “chip away” the doubts, fears, and insecurities that hide the masterpiece God placed in them. Over time, your words, actions, and love help reveal more and more of who they were created to be.
But here’s the key—this doesn’t happen by accident. Michelangelo didn’t just glance at a block of marble and hope it turned into David. He worked at it—patiently, purposefully, and with vision. In the same way, a husband or wife who is “dating for life” continues to study their spouse, listen to their dreams, speak life into their hearts, and invest in their growth.
When you pursue your spouse with that kind of intentionality, you’re not just keeping romance alive—you’re shaping something beautiful, one loving act at a time.
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage from Social Science and Psychology
The Gottman “Love Map”
Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading marriage researchers in the world, uses the term “Love Map” to describe how well you know your spouse’s inner world. It’s not just knowing their favorite color or food—it’s knowing their hopes, their fears, what’s weighing on them right now, what they’re dreaming about for the future, and even what’s frustrating them this week.
In his decades of research, Gottman found that couples with strong, detailed “love maps” were far more likely to have lasting, happy marriages. Why? Because love grows when we keep learning each other. A wedding day isn’t the end of discovery—it’s the beginning of a lifetime of exploration.
The danger is that we can let life get so busy—jobs, kids, routines—that we stop updating our “map.” Before long, we’re living in the same house, but our understanding of each other is outdated. We’re navigating with an old map in a new landscape.
When you intentionally pursue your spouse—by asking questions, listening deeply, and paying attention to the small details—you’re keeping that map fresh. And a fresh map leads to deeper connection, quicker empathy, and a love that can navigate any season.
Bids for Connection
In his research on thousands of couples, Dr. John Gottman noticed something fascinating. Throughout the day, spouses make little “bids” for each other’s attention. These can be as small as a smile, a comment about something they see out the window, a question about their day, or even a shared joke.
Each bid is like an invitation: “Will you connect with me right now?” Gottman discovered that couples who consistently respond positively to these small bids—turning toward their spouse instead of ignoring or dismissing them—build strong emotional bonds that last. In fact, in happy marriages, spouses respond to each other’s bids about 87% of the time. In unhappy marriages, it’s closer to 33%.
Think about it—most intimacy isn’t built in grand, cinematic moments. It’s built in the countless, everyday choices to notice, to answer, to engage. When your spouse says, “Look at that sunset,” they’re not just pointing at the sky—they’re saying, “I want to share this moment with you.”
Intentional pursuit means catching those bids and answering them, over and over. Those small connections pile up into trust, warmth, and love that endures.
Marriage Sermon Illustrations from Art and Music
Grow Old With Me
Romance has always inspired art, and some of the most touching examples show the power of lifelong pursuit.
John Lennon once penned a song called “Grow Old With Me.” It’s a simple, heartfelt vision: walking through all of life’s seasons together, still choosing love in the wrinkles, the gray hair, and the slowing pace. It’s the picture of love that deepens instead of fades—a love that still holds hands on the porch decades later.
The story of Monet and Camille
The French painter Claude Monet lived that vision with his wife, Camille. When she became gravely ill, he didn’t stop pursuing her beauty. Even in her final days, he painted her portrait—not because he wanted to remember her only as she was when she was young, but because he still saw her as beautiful in that moment. His brushstrokes were an act of love, capturing the depth of their shared life together.
Both examples remind us that intentional pursuit isn’t just about the exciting start—it’s about finding beauty in every season. It’s about saying, “I still choose you” when the years have changed us, and maybe even loving each other more because of those changes.
Illustrations on Marriage from Movies
The Notebook
In The Notebook, the story alternates between two timeframes—one in the past and one in the present. In the present day, we see an elderly man named Noah walking into a nursing home. Every day, without fail, he sits down beside a woman named Allie and begins to read from a worn, handwritten notebook.
The words he reads are not fiction—they are their love story. From their first meeting as teenagers, to the struggles that tried to pull them apart, to the choices that brought them back together. The twist is, Allie doesn’t know the story is about her. She has Alzheimer’s, and most days she doesn’t recognize him at all.
And yet Noah comes anyway. He’s not there because he gets something in return. Most of the time, she doesn’t remember his face, his name, or the decades they shared. But his love is not conditional on her memory—it’s rooted in covenant. Every so often, a miracle happens: she remembers. Her eyes light up, her voice softens, and for a few precious minutes they are husband and wife again in her mind. And then it fades.
But the next day, he comes back. He pursues her heart even when she cannot pursue his. That’s what lifelong pursuit looks like—it’s love that keeps showing up, even when the other person can’t meet you halfway.
Up
Pixar’s Up begins with one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking montages in film history. We meet Carl and Ellie as children—two adventurous spirits dreaming of exploring the world together. As they grow up, they marry, buy a small house, and begin turning it into a home filled with color, laughter, and shared dreams.
They save money in a jar for their great adventure to Paradise Falls, but life keeps happening—flat tires, broken roofs, hospital bills. Each time they get close, the jar gets emptied for something more urgent. Years pass. We watch them paint the nursery, then grieve when they learn they can’t have children. We see them tend their garden, fix the house, and share quiet picnics on a hillside. Their hair turns gray. Their pace slows. But their joy in each other never fades.
Then Ellie becomes ill. We watch Carl sit by her hospital bed, holding her hand until she’s gone. Their dream trip never happened, but in the montage we realize—Ellie still got her great adventure. It wasn’t in some far-off jungle. It was in the decades of small, everyday moments with the man she loved.
That opening sequence tells us something profound: lifelong pursuit isn’t only about the big, bucket-list moments—it’s about continuing to delight in one another in the ordinary. Carl and Ellie didn’t wait for paradise to start loving each other well. They created it, day after day, in a little house with a creaky door and a garden out back.
Illustrations from Literature
Jane Eyre
Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre is often remembered as a gothic romance, but at its core, it’s a story of love that survives not just hardship, but transformation. Jane, an orphan with little in the way of beauty, wealth, or social standing, becomes a governess in the home of the wealthy and brooding Mr. Rochester. Over time, their respect and friendship grow into deep love. But on their wedding day, Jane discovers Rochester has a terrible secret—he is already married to a woman who is gravely ill and mentally unstable, hidden away in his home.
Heartbroken but resolute, Jane leaves. She refuses to compromise her integrity, even though it means losing the man she loves. Years later, she learns Rochester has been badly injured in a fire that destroyed his home. He’s lost his sight in one eye and the use of one hand. His wealth is gone. His status is shattered.
When Jane returns, she sees him not as the proud, powerful man she first met, but as a humbled, wounded soul. And she loves him still—perhaps even more. Her pursuit isn’t about what he can give her, but about who he is. She chooses to walk into a life that will require care, patience, and sacrifice because her love is anchored in something deeper than circumstances.
In marriage, intentional pursuit often means loving through seasons when the other person can’t be at their “best”—when health fails, careers shift, or life changes everything. Like Jane, we’re called to keep showing up, not just for who our spouse was, but for who they are now.
Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy
Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice begins with two people who don’t particularly like each other. Elizabeth Bennet sees Mr. Darcy as arrogant and aloof. Darcy, meanwhile, views Elizabeth’s family as beneath him socially. They misread each other’s words, misunderstand motives, and allow pride and assumptions to build walls.
But the story is really about transformation through pursuit. Over time, Darcy begins to quietly serve Elizabeth and her family, often without her knowledge—rescuing her youngest sister from scandal, protecting the Bennet name, and never asking for credit. Elizabeth, in turn, begins to see Darcy not as the proud man she met, but as someone of integrity, humility, and deep care.
By the time Darcy proposes again, it’s not just that their feelings have changed—it’s that they have changed. They’ve grown into the kind of people who can love each other well. Their marriage begins not at the height of infatuation, but at the maturity of mutual respect, humility, and a commitment to keep growing together.
It’s a reminder that “dating for life” sometimes begins with learning to see each other clearly—letting go of our pride, tearing down our assumptions, and choosing to pursue the real person standing before us, not the version we imagined.
(Source: gutenberg.org)

Metaphorical Illustrations for Marriage
1. The Garden
A healthy marriage is like a garden—it flourishes only when it’s tended. You have to pull weeds (resentments, unresolved conflicts), plant seeds (kind words, shared experiences), and water it regularly (time together, prayer, affection). Neglect invites overgrowth and decay, but intentional care produces beauty and fruit over time.
2. The Campfire
A campfire starts with a spark, but it won’t keep you warm unless you keep adding fuel. In marriage, the “logs” are things like conversation, shared laughter, physical affection, and acts of service. If you stop feeding the flame, the warmth will fade. But if you tend it, shield it from storms, and keep it supplied, it will burn bright for years.
3. The Symphony
Marriage is like a symphony—it’s not just about hitting the right notes, but about playing in harmony. Sometimes one instrument leads, sometimes the other, but both are listening, adjusting, and following the same score. Discord happens when you stop listening to each other, but when you keep in step, the result is music that’s richer together than either could play alone.
4. The Dance
A dance requires rhythm, trust, and responsiveness. If one person stops paying attention, steps on the other’s toes, or tries to force the movements, it becomes clumsy and frustrating. But when both partners move with each other, adapt to changes, and stay connected, the dance becomes graceful and joyful.
Illustrations on Marriage from Poetry
Rainer Maria Rilke
Rainer Maria Rilke, the Austrian poet, once wrote, “For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks… the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
Think about that for a moment. We prepare for our careers—we go to school, get training, learn the craft. We prepare for parenting—we read books, seek advice, and adjust our lives for children. But Rilke is saying that the greatest preparation in life is for the work of loving another person well.
He calls it “the most difficult of all our tasks” because real love isn’t a moment—it’s a lifetime. It’s choosing kindness when irritation would be easier. It’s listening when you’d rather defend yourself. It’s learning how to navigate changes in your spouse over the years without losing connection.
In marriage, this means we have to keep being students of our spouse. We have to show up every day willing to grow, to practice, to try again. “Dating for life” means treating love like a craft you’re dedicated to mastering—where the longer you’re married, the better you become at it.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnets from the Portuguese contain some of the most enduring love poetry ever written. In one of her most famous lines, she writes, “I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life—and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.”
This is not the language of infatuation; it’s the language of covenant. She is saying, “I love you with every part of me—my joy, my sorrow, my laughter, my pain—and I expect that this love will only deepen when we step into eternity.”
That’s a breathtaking vision for marriage. In a world that often treats love as temporary or conditional, Browning paints a picture of a love that not only survives the storms of life but actually gathers strength from them.
In our own marriages, this kind of love means that even when life changes us—through sickness, aging, loss, or hardship—we keep loving with all we have. And if we believe in eternity, we also believe that the story doesn’t end at the grave. “Dating for life” becomes “dating forever”—a love that God Himself carries beyond time.
(Source: poetryarchive.org)
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage: Quotes
Gary Thomas
Christian author Gary Thomas once said, “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make—and you have to keep on making it.” That’s a needed reminder, because so many couples assume that if they “found the right person,” everything else should just naturally fall into place. But marriage doesn’t work like that. A good marriage is built, brick by brick, day after day, with the small choices we make—choosing to speak kindly, choosing to forgive, choosing to put the other’s needs ahead of our own.
The “dating for life” mindset takes this seriously. It means that even after years together, you’re still building—you’re not just living in the house, you’re improving it, maintaining it, and making it even more beautiful. And just like with any building project, if you stop working on it, neglect starts to show.
Thomas’s point is that a strong marriage is intentional. You don’t stumble into it; you create it—and you keep creating it, for as long as you both live.
Tim Keller
Pastor and author Tim Keller once said, “You fall in love by accident, but you stay in love on purpose.” Those first sparks of romance often happen without much planning—you meet someone, chemistry happens, and suddenly you’re caught up in the thrill of it all. That’s the “accident.” But staying in love? That’s not accidental at all. That’s a decision you make over and over.
In marriage, this means choosing to keep pursuing your spouse when the butterflies fade, when life gets busy, when conflict arises, or when routine threatens to dull your connection. It’s being intentional about creating moments of laughter, affection, and encouragement—just like you did when you were first dating, but with a deeper knowledge of each other’s hearts.
Keller’s words remind us that love is sustained not by chance, but by commitment. If you want a lifelong love story, you have to keep writing it—on purpose.
Illustrations on Marriage from Greco-Roman Culture
The Radical Call of Ephesians 5
When Paul wrote in Ephesians 5, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” he wasn’t just giving a nice-sounding bit of marriage advice—he was dropping a cultural bomb.
In the Greco-Roman world, marriage was often utilitarian. Men married to produce legitimate heirs and form social or economic alliances. Emotional intimacy and romance were rarely part of the equation. It was common for men to seek affection or pleasure outside of marriage while wives were expected to quietly run the household and bear children.
Against that backdrop, Paul’s words were radical. He told men to love their wives sacrificially—as Christ loved the church. That meant putting her needs first, protecting her, nourishing her, and cherishing her. This was not a love that used, but a love that gave. In a culture where women were often seen as property, Paul called husbands to see their wives as equal heirs of God’s grace.
In today’s terms, Ephesians 5 is still countercultural. “Dating for life” means living out that Christlike, self-giving love—not just at the start, but every day of your marriage. It means you don’t just stay married; you stay engaged, attentive, and sacrificial in your pursuit of your spouse.
First-Century Arranged Marriage
In the first-century Roman world, most marriages weren’t sparked by romance—they were arranged for family advantage, political alliance, or economic benefit. A young woman might be married off to a man she barely knew, sometimes decades older than her. Love, as we think of it today, was not the foundation of marriage.
In that environment, emotional connection between husband and wife was uncommon. A man’s public life was often separate from his home life, and affection wasn’t considered necessary for the marriage to function. Many men sought companionship, conversation, or romance outside of marriage, while wives fulfilled their expected domestic roles in silence.
When the Gospel entered this cultural landscape, it brought an entirely new vision for marriage—one rooted in mutual love, respect, and spiritual unity. Husbands were called to cherish their wives, to be faithful, and to see them as partners before God. Wives were called to respond in respect and devotion, not out of fear, but out of shared faith.
That kind of intentional connection didn’t just happen—it required pursuit. In a world where marriage could easily remain a cold arrangement, the early Christian vision insisted on warmth, love, and the continual choice to draw near to one another. And that same principle is true today: even if the circumstances of your marriage began with love, keeping it alive still takes intentional pursuit.
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage from the Early Church
Tertullian's Writing on Marriage
Tertullian lived in the late 2nd and early 3rd centuries, a time when Christianity was still a small, often persecuted movement in the Roman Empire. In his writings, he painted a picture of what a Christian marriage should look like—and it stood in sharp contrast to the culture around him.
In the Roman world, marriage was often transactional. It served family alliances, political connections, and the production of heirs. Public affection between husband and wife was rare, and spiritual intimacy wasn’t even a category most people considered. But Tertullian described something radically different—a husband and wife who were united not just physically, but spiritually.
He wrote of them praying together, fasting together, studying Scripture together, and encouraging each other to stand strong under persecution. He imagined them side by side in worship, side by side in serving others, and, if necessary, even side by side in suffering for Christ.
For Tertullian, the most powerful thing about Christian marriage wasn’t just its exclusivity or its morality—it was its spiritual unity. That bond, he believed, was the foundation for a love that could weather anything.
When we talk today about “dating for life,” Tertullian’s vision reminds us that a marriage is strongest when it is built on shared faith and spiritual rhythms that keep both hearts aligned with God and with each other.
(Source: christianhistoryinstitute.org)
Clement of Alexandria
Clement of Alexandria, writing in the late 2nd century, was another early Christian thinker who challenged the cultural assumptions of his day about marriage. In the Greco-Roman world, marriage was often reduced to a legal and social arrangement—its primary function was to secure family alliances and produce legitimate heirs. Emotional closeness or partnership was not the goal.
Clement, however, saw marriage through a distinctly Christian lens. He taught that God designed marriage not only for procreation but also for companionship, mutual support, and shared holiness. He argued that a husband and wife should see each other as fellow travelers on the road to heaven—each one helping the other grow in virtue and in the knowledge of God.
In a time when many philosophers viewed women as intellectually and spiritually inferior, Clement affirmed that wives were equal partners in the pursuit of godliness. He encouraged husbands to treat their wives with honor, respect, and tenderness, and to cultivate marriages where love was expressed not just in physical affection, but in the daily encouragement of one another’s souls.
Clement’s teaching pushed against a culture that treated marriage as a cold arrangement. He saw it as something warm, dynamic, and deeply spiritual—an arena for practicing Christlike love day after day. For us, “dating for life” echoes that same call: to never stop building a marriage where love and holiness grow side by side.
Examples of Marriage from Biblical Parallels
Jacob & Rachel
The story of Jacob and Rachel in Genesis is one of the most vivid biblical pictures of intentional pursuit in love. Jacob first meets Rachel at a well, and from that moment, he knows he wants to marry her. He agrees to work for her father, Laban, for seven years in order to have her hand in marriage.
Seven years is a long time to wait—but Genesis 29:20 says, “Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.” That’s the language of someone who is willing to put in the work, to endure the waiting, because the person he loves is worth it.
But then comes the twist—on the wedding day, Laban deceives Jacob and gives him Rachel’s older sister, Leah, instead. Jacob is devastated, but rather than give up, he agrees to work another seven years for Rachel. Fourteen years of labor—all to marry the woman he loves.
Jacob’s persistence isn’t just about romance; it’s about the value he places on Rachel. It’s a reminder that real love is willing to sacrifice, to endure hardship, and to keep pursuing even when the road is longer and harder than expected.
In marriage today, we may not have to work fourteen years to win our spouse’s hand, but we do have to work—day after day—to keep their heart. “Dating for life” means never stopping that pursuit, no matter how long you’ve been together.
(Source: biblegateway.com)

Song of Solomon
The Song of Songs—also known as the Song of Solomon—is one of the most passionate and intimate books in the Bible. It often surprises people with its poetic, romantic imagery and open celebration of love between a bride and her beloved.
This isn’t a cold, arranged marriage for convenience—it’s a relationship bursting with longing, delight, and joy. The lovers speak openly about each other’s beauty, about the thrill of being together, and about their desire to pursue one another. The woman says, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 6:3), a phrase that communicates deep security and mutual belonging.
The book is filled with imagery of gardens, vineyards, springtime blossoms, and fragrant spices—symbols of love that is cultivated, growing, and alive. It’s not static; it’s active, creative, and intentional.
By including this book in Scripture, God affirms that romance, pursuit, and physical attraction are not just acceptable in marriage—they’re worth celebrating. “Dating for life” means keeping that same spirit alive, not letting years together dull the joy of delighting in your spouse.
Illustrations from Current Events
Ann Voskamp’s Story
Author Ann Voskamp once shared a deeply personal reflection about her marriage that beautifully illustrates the idea of intentional pursuit over the long haul. She described how, in the middle of the busyness and heaviness of life—parenting children, working the farm, and navigating her own seasons of anxiety—her husband found simple but consistent ways to keep pursuing her heart.
One image she uses is of him “building a bench” beside her soul. By that, she means he created a place of safety, peace, and presence—a space where she knew she could rest emotionally without judgment or pressure. He didn’t try to fix all her problems or rush her through her feelings. Instead, he simply stayed close, kept showing kindness, and reminded her in a hundred small ways, “I’m not going anywhere.”
That’s pursuit. It’s not always dramatic or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it’s in the quiet consistency of a spouse who sees your struggles and chooses to stay near, to make space for your heart, and to remind you you’re loved without conditions.
Voskamp’s picture of her husband’s “bench” challenges us to think: How am I making room in my marriage for my spouse’s heart to breathe? “Dating for life” means creating those places of emotional refuge and returning to them again and again—so that your spouse never doubts they are worth your attention, patience, and presence.
Her Song
A video that’s been shared thousands of times online shows an elderly man standing beside a hospital bed, guitar in hand. His wife is lying there, recovering from surgery. Tubes and monitors surround her, but his focus is entirely on her face.
He begins to sing her favorite love song—the same one he used to sing when they were young. His voice is shaky, but the smile it brings to her face is radiant. In that moment, you see decades of shared history condensed into a single act of love. This is not performance for the camera; it’s the quiet devotion of someone who has been pursuing his wife for a lifetime.
People watching online were moved to tears—not because the man was a great singer, but because he was still singing. His love wasn’t diminished by age, illness, or circumstance. If anything, those things had only made it stronger.
That’s the heart of “dating for life.” It’s not about whether you can still play or sing well. It’s about showing up for your spouse in ways that remind them, “I still choose you. I still delight in you. You are still worth my best effort.”
Illustrations on Marriage from Parables, Fables and Folklore
Orpheus and Eurydice
In Greek mythology, Orpheus was the most gifted musician in the world—his songs could charm animals, calm storms, and even move the gods. He fell deeply in love with Eurydice, and they were married. But tragedy struck soon after when Eurydice was bitten by a snake and died.
Devastated, Orpheus journeyed to the underworld to bring her back. His music so moved Hades and Persephone that they agreed to let Eurydice return to the living—on one condition: Orpheus must walk ahead of her on the journey back and not look at her until they reached the surface. If he turned to look, she would be lost to him forever.
They began the ascent, and Orpheus could hear her footsteps behind him. But doubt crept in—what if she wasn’t really there? What if the gods were tricking him? Just steps from the sunlight, he turned to look, and in that instant, Eurydice vanished back into the shadows.
It’s a haunting story, and in marriage it serves as a reminder that love requires trust. Pursuing your spouse for life means resisting the temptation to let fear, suspicion, or insecurity sabotage the relationship. When we keep our eyes fixed on the path we’re walking together—without constantly looking back in doubt—we can make it to the sunlight side by side.
The Stonecutter
There’s an old Asian parable about a stonecutter who was dissatisfied with his life. One day, he wished to be powerful—and he became a wealthy merchant. But then he saw a nobleman and wished to have even greater influence, and so he became a high official.
As he enjoyed his new status, he noticed the sun shining powerfully over all, and he wished to be the sun. He became the sun—until he saw a cloud that could block his light, so he wished to be the cloud. The cloud, in turn, was blown away by the wind, so he wished to be the wind. The wind was strong—until it came up against a mountain that could not be moved. So he wished to be the mountain.
But then, one day, he felt a sharp pain—he looked down and saw a stonecutter, chipping away at his side with determination. And he realized: the stonecutter had the power to shape the mountain.
In marriage, this story reminds us that chasing something “better” than what we already have can cause us to miss the treasure in front of us. The stonecutter didn’t need to become something else to have meaning—he already had the power to shape and create beauty right where he was.
“Dating for life” means resisting the illusion that love will be richer with someone or something else. It’s about recognizing the incredible value of the person God has given you and continuing to shape your shared life with care, gratitude, and intentional pursuit.
Balinese Nyepi Day
In Bali, there is a unique cultural tradition called Nyepi Day—the Balinese Day of Silence. It marks the Hindu New Year, and unlike celebrations elsewhere that involve fireworks and noise, this day is observed with a complete stillness across the island.
From sunrise to sunrise, everything stops. No travel. No work. No electricity. Even the usually busy streets are empty. Families stay home together, speaking quietly or not at all, using the time for reflection, prayer, and reconnection. It’s a rare, intentional pause in a world that never seems to slow down.
For married couples, Nyepi offers a picture of something powerful. In the rush of life—jobs, kids, technology, endless to-do lists—it’s easy to live side by side without really being present. But what if we intentionally created “Nyepi moments” in our marriages? Times when we shut out the noise, put away distractions, and focus on being together—listening, talking, and simply enjoying each other’s presence.
“Dating for life” isn’t just about adding more activities—it’s also about creating space. Space to reflect on your journey together, to be still, and to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Korean Pepero Day
In South Korea, November 11th is celebrated as Pepero Day. It’s a lighthearted holiday where people exchange Pepero sticks—thin chocolate-covered biscuits—as a token of affection. The date was chosen because 11/11 looks like four Pepero sticks lined up together.
While it’s especially popular among dating couples, married couples also take part, using it as an excuse to show appreciation, have fun, and share a small romantic gesture. What’s charming is that it’s not about the cost or grandeur—it’s about the thought. A simple, sweet gift becomes a symbol of, “I was thinking of you today.”
For marriage, Pepero Day is a reminder that romance doesn’t always require big, dramatic acts. Small, playful gestures—whether it’s bringing your spouse their favorite snack, slipping a note into their bag, or sending a quick “I love you” text—can keep the relationship warm.
“Dating for life” means keeping those small touches alive. They may seem insignificant in the moment, but over years, they stack up into a marriage culture where your spouse feels seen, valued, and cherished every single day.
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage from U.S. History
John Quincy and Louisa Adams
John Quincy Adams, the sixth president of the United States, and his wife Louisa had a marriage that faced unusual challenges. Louisa was the only foreign-born First Lady in U.S. history, raised in London and Paris, and her life with John meant constant transitions—new cities, shifting political roles, and long separations.
John’s diplomatic and political duties often took him overseas or to other parts of the country, leaving Louisa to manage their home and family alone for extended periods. Yet they worked to maintain their connection through letters—hundreds of them—sometimes carrying personal encouragement, sometimes debating ideas, and other times simply sharing the everyday details of life.
Louisa once described their relationship as a “union of mind and heart,” acknowledging that while they faced misunderstandings and hardships, they were committed to the shared work of their marriage. For them, love wasn’t a steady, unbroken line—it was something they had to keep returning to, keep investing in, even when the pressures of public life pulled them in different directions.
Their story reminds us that “dating for life” often requires intentionality during seasons of separation or strain. It’s about finding ways to keep the conversation going, to stay curious about each other, and to maintain a living connection even when circumstances make togetherness harder than we’d like.

Civil War Soldier Love Letters
During the American Civil War, soldiers and their sweethearts were often separated by hundreds of miles, with little hope of seeing each other for months—or even years. In that era, letters were the lifeline.
Paper carried not just words, but fingerprints smudged from writing by campfire, the faint scent of home, or tear stains that had fallen mid-sentence. These letters became treasures, read and reread until the edges wore thin. They told of longing, daily hardships, prayers for safety, and dreams for the future.
One young Union soldier wrote to his wife: “I carry your last letter in my breast pocket over my heart. When the nights are long and the wind bites cold, I read it again, and it warms me more than the fire.” That simple act shows how love, even stretched across distance and danger, can sustain the human spirit.
In marriage, we may not face the same separations or uncertainties, but the principle is timeless: intentional communication keeps love alive. “Dating for life” means not letting busyness or routine rob us of those words that nourish intimacy. Whether in handwritten letters, texts, or whispered conversations before bed, we must keep speaking love into our spouse’s heart.
Illustrations on Marriage from Sports
Drew and Brittany Brees
Former NFL quarterback Drew Brees is widely respected not just for his athletic accomplishments, but for his devotion to his family. Throughout his long and demanding career, which included grueling practices, travel, and the intense pressure of game days, he was intentional about keeping his marriage to Brittany strong.
Brees often spoke about how he and Brittany carved out protected time for each other, even when the season was at its busiest. Whether it was a weekly date night, family dinners, or simply unplugging from football to focus on her and their children, he treated their relationship as a priority, not an afterthought.
This commitment sent a clear message: no matter how big the stage or how heavy the workload, his role as a husband was just as important as his role as a quarterback. It’s a reminder that “dating for life” means building guardrails into your schedule so your marriage is never crowded out by other commitments—even the good and important ones.
Tony Dungy
Hall of Fame NFL coach Tony Dungy is known for his calm leadership, his integrity, and his faith—but those who know him well often point to his marriage as one of his greatest successes. He and his wife, Lauren, have been married for decades, raising eleven children together—three biological and eight adopted—while navigating the demands of professional football and public life.
In interviews, Dungy has shared that one of the keys to keeping their marriage strong has been a non-negotiable weekly date night. No matter how hectic the season, no matter how many pressures were pulling at their time, they set aside one evening a week just for the two of them. It didn’t have to be fancy—a simple dinner out, a quiet walk, or time at home without distractions—but it was theirs.
That commitment sent a powerful message: their relationship mattered enough to be scheduled and protected. In a world where it’s easy to let marriage slide to the bottom of the to-do list, they chose to keep pursuing each other on purpose.
It’s a perfect picture of “dating for life”—not waiting for special occasions, but creating rhythms that keep love fresh and connection strong.

Little-Known or Inspiring Characters
Anthony and Donna Bowman
Anthony and Donna Bowman served as missionaries in some of the most challenging and high-pressure environments in the world. The demands of ministry, cultural adjustments, and limited resources could have easily worn down their relationship. Yet, those who knew them often remarked on how close and connected they remained, even in the midst of constant stress.
One of their quiet but powerful habits was leaving handwritten notes for each other—tucked into a Bible, slipped into a bag before a long trip, or placed on a pillow. These notes weren’t elaborate; sometimes they were just a sentence or two of encouragement, a Scripture verse, or a reminder of love. But over the years, those little gestures formed a thread that kept their hearts tied closely together.
They also had a simple “coffee time” ritual. No matter how busy the day or how many ministry responsibilities called for their attention, they would carve out a few minutes to sit together with a cup of coffee, talk, and pray. It wasn’t about the coffee—it was about saying, “I still want to hear your voice. I still want to be near you.”
Their example reminds us that “dating for life” doesn’t always mean grand gestures. Often, it’s the quiet, consistent habits of attention and affection that keep a marriage strong for decades.
The Fire that Never Went Out
George and Susie Washington weren’t famous in the sense of holding public office or breaking sports records, but in their community, they were known as a couple whose love had stood the test of time. They married young and walked together through decades of change—raising children, enduring financial struggles, facing illness, and grieving losses.
What people remembered most was how they spoke about each other. George, even in his later years, would look at Susie and say, “The fire of our love has never gone out.” It wasn’t just a romantic line—those who knew them could see it was true. They still held hands when they walked. They still laughed together like young sweethearts. They still chose each other every single day.
Their home became a place where younger couples would come for encouragement, and George and Susie would tell them the secret: never stop doing the things you did when you were dating. They believed that love wasn’t something you “fell into” once and then coasted—it was something you tended, protected, and pursued for life.
Their story is a reminder that you don’t have to be well-known to have a legendary love. “Dating for life” is for every couple willing to keep the fire burning—through both the bright seasons and the difficult ones.
Illustrations on Marriage from Court Cases
The “Lack of Romance” Divorce Case
A few years ago in the UK, a woman filed for divorce citing something unusual as one of her reasons: a lack of romance. She told the court that her husband never gave her flowers, never complimented her, and never tried to surprise her or make her feel special. Over the years, the absence of those small, intentional gestures created a distance between them that eventually felt unbridgeable.
While some might see this as trivial, it’s actually a cautionary tale. Romance isn’t just fluff—it’s one of the ways we communicate value, affection, and pursuit. Without it, a marriage can slowly shift from partnership to mere coexistence. The gestures don’t have to be extravagant; they simply need to say, “I see you, I appreciate you, and I still choose you.”
Her story reminds us that “dating for life” isn’t optional for a thriving marriage. It’s not about grand, expensive displays—it’s about the small, consistent choices to make your spouse feel loved and pursued, year after year.
The Man Who Sued Himself to Save His Marriage
In one of the more unusual legal cases to make headlines, a man in China actually filed a lawsuit—against himself. His reasoning? He wanted a court order that would force him to stop engaging in behaviors that were harming his marriage.
This man had developed destructive habits—financial recklessness, staying out late, neglecting his wife—and he recognized they were driving a wedge between them. He feared that without drastic action, he would lose her. So, in a dramatic move, he essentially asked the court to hold him accountable, making it legally binding for him to avoid certain temptations and patterns.
While his approach was extreme, the heart behind it is striking: he valued his marriage enough to take bold, even humiliating steps to protect it. In a sense, it was a public declaration—“I’m willing to fight for this relationship, even if it means restraining my own worst impulses.”
In marriage, “dating for life” sometimes means removing obstacles that stand in the way of love, whether they’re bad habits, unhealthy influences, or even personal pride. Pursuit isn’t just about adding romance—it’s also about clearing the path so that love can flourish without constant hindrance.
Sermon Illustrations on Marriage: Surprising Facts
Weekly Date Nights
One of the most consistent findings in marriage research is that couples who intentionally set aside time for regular date nights have stronger, happier relationships. A University of Virginia study found that couples who have a weekly date night are 3.5 times more likely to describe their marriage as “very happy” compared to those who don’t.
But here’s the key—what makes the difference isn’t necessarily what the couple does, but that they do it on purpose. A date night sends a clear message: “You are a priority. Our relationship matters enough to schedule time for just us, even when life is busy.” It pushes back against the drift that naturally happens when jobs, kids, and endless responsibilities fill the calendar.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Some couples go out for dinner, others take a walk in the park, play a board game, or make a meal together after the kids are in bed. The point isn’t the activity—it’s that you’re giving each other your undivided attention and creating space for connection.
Over time, these regular moments of intentional connection become like anchor points in a marriage. They help couples weather difficult seasons because they’ve built a rhythm of turning toward each other, not just living parallel lives.
“Dating for life” means refusing to let romance and connection get squeezed out by routine. A weekly date night is one of the simplest—and most powerful—ways to keep your marriage alive, growing, and joyful.
The Power of Compliments
It’s amazing how something as small as a kind word can have such a deep impact on a marriage. Research has shown that couples who regularly compliment each other—genuinely noticing and affirming the other—tend to have stronger relationships and significantly lower divorce rates.
A compliment is more than a nice sentence. It’s a signal that you see your spouse. It says, “I notice you, I value you, and I want you to know it.” When someone hears, “You look beautiful today,” or “I love how you handled that situation,” or “I’m so proud to be married to you,” it deposits something into their emotional bank account. Over time, those deposits build a deep reservoir of security and affection.
The opposite is also true—when words of affirmation are absent, a spouse can begin to feel invisible or taken for granted, even if the love is still there. Silence leaves a gap, and often that gap is filled by doubt or insecurity.
In a “dating for life” marriage, compliments aren’t just for the honeymoon phase. They become a regular rhythm, woven into daily life. They’re intentional, specific, and sincere—not just “you’re great,” but “I admire how patient you were with the kids today” or “you looked so confident in that meeting.”
The beauty of compliments is that they cost nothing, but they’re priceless in what they give. Over years, they create an environment where love feels alive, respect is mutual, and both hearts are continually pursued.

And Now, It's Your Turn...
Marriage is one of the most relatable, emotionally charged topics you can preach on—and the right illustration can take a biblical truth and make it land in the heart. But as you’ve seen from the examples above, the best illustrations don’t just entertain… they connect deeply, stick in the memory, and move people toward action.
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